freshoffthefarm | [MEME] -- #5, the AU from Hell

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Current Location: Vegas

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[MEME] -- #5, the AU from Hell

[From here, as requested by

fakes]
--

It was an op in Vegas, which was so weird since most of her domestic ops stayed in the DC Metro area, and Annie had done her job well. The extra babysitting had been extra annoying (when wasn't it?), but he'd come along to visit an old friend... or so he'd said.

She hadn't seen hide or hair of him during her mission, but when she went to have a drink in the bar at their hotel late the night before they were supposed to leave, she found him sitting in a dark corner. When didn't he sit in dark corners, really, but she rolled her eyes and put a smile on her face to join him.

Their breakup and subsequent dealings had been difficult, and after that State Dinner, she'd gone out of her way to keep her distance from him as much as possible. That didn't mean they couldn't enjoy a drink or two (or seven) while in Vegas.

Unfortunately--

When Annie woke to the pounding in her head, she almost couldn't open her eyes. When she finally managed, she ignored the immense nausea she felt and peered at the walls in the hotel room she was in. She hadn't been given this nice of a room, not on the Agency's dime, no. This was something else. Turning, she caught sight of a man's head and her eyes widened, causing the pounding to pick up and she clenched her eyes shut again with a groan.

Clapping both hands, right over left, on her head, she felt something heavy and lifted them again almost immediately. Seeing the wedding ring set on her left hand, she gasped.

"Oh, my God."

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Annie didn't push or lean, she just let the comfort happen. Of all people, she knew that Clay knew what it was like. He'd been around longer than most of her colleagues, so she could believe him when he told her things about what that kind of loss meant.

But when he expressed his own fears, she lifted her head to look at him. "What?"

"Whoever planted it waited until he got away from Langley to meet you. So in the back of my mind I wonder, were they after him, you, or both of you."

If they could get to their agents at home, his mode of operation turned into trust no one.

"Nobody knew we were meeting. He left a note on my desk..." She trailed off with a shrug that made her shoulders ache. "Hell, until he walked into the restaurant, even I didn't know that's who I was meeting."

"Well at least that'll put my mind to rest."

That was something. Whoever it was was not after his wife.

"I wish I could do something other than tell you how sorry I am."

"I don't want to scare you. I'm sorry if I did scare you," Annie amended, aware that he'd probably been terrified when he'd been notified at work. "Right now, there's nothing you can do except give me that drink."

Her voice was still watery and shaky, but she wasn't going to give up on the opportunity to black out and just forget the day.

"It's okay. When I saw you sitting there everything was fine. For the most part." Then he smiled a little bit, "After everything we did in Vegas, I'd hate to miss out on what's coming."

Against his better judgement he got Annie a drink and one for himself. A double shot of scotch. Hers was cheaper than his.

"And just so you know", he said as he settled back on the couch, "I will always look out for you."

It was an indication of how things were going to go when Annie tipped the glass back and then held onto it with both hands. She eyed his glass and then closed her eyes, letting her head fall back on the couch. If he hadn't settled in so quickly, she'd have asked for a refill.

"I know you will," she said, nodding. Immediately, she went to all the times Jai had come for her: London, Belarus... "I don't know what I'd do without you, Clay."

"We got married. You don't have to be without me."

Except for short periods and even then, not 100%. He noticed she looked at his glass, drank half and handed the remainder to his wife.

"Just take it easy with that, okay?" He didn't want more throwing up. It wouldn't be good for either of them to deal with.

Taking the glass, she nodded, then just looked at it before setting her empty one on the table beside her.

"I know you don't like Henry Wilcox, but I can't imagine what he's going to do when he finds out," she said quietly. "They probably won't even let him go to Jai's funeral. That's so wrong."

She ducked her head and took a small sip of Clay's glass feeling guilty for making him feel like he had to hand it to her, so she tried to hand it back. "I'm sorry."

"You can finish it."

He hoped with both drinks gone, she'd be less likely to have more.

"And as much as I hate to say this, a lot of that is Henry's own fault but I hope at least they'd let him see it."

With his blessing Annie tilted the glass back, set it down, then lay down across his lap and put her head on the other end of the couch.

"He's an asshole, but." She didn't want to finish the sentence. "I just..."

She didn't know how to finish the sentence.

"But Jai was still his son."

Just because his father was a traitor didn't mean he was. In fact, Clay suspected that Jai had a much higher price for secrets than Henry.

"Yeah."

Annie lay there and stared into the living room, wishing that it weren't two o'clock in the afternoon, wishing that she could just forget everything, wishing that she could just curl up and go to sleep.

The first two weren't options, but the third... she rolled over to face him, wincing. "I hurt. My head hurts, my ears are ringing and my body aches."

"Explosions can do that. I was in one about 10 years ago in Chechnya, doing something I thought was noble. I think my ears rang for three days. At least my friend appreciated his Christmas Gift."

Clay understood where she was coming from completely.

"Thought was noble? It wasn't noble?" She had her eyes closed, and her hand rested on his stomach just under his vest, but she still gave him a small smile. "What was the gift?"

"I brought his brother home from a war zone. It was noble, he just didn't stay around as long as I would have liked."

Clay draped his arm around Annie so she could get comfortable. He was fully prepared to be a pillow.

He currently was a pillow as her head and body were draped over his lap and her head was on the edge of the couch. She lay there, listening to the sounds that she could outside and the ringing in her ears.

"You're such a good man."

"I'm glad you think so."

Annie was the one person he wanted to think he was a good man. There were so many things he'd done over the years that was in direct contradiction to that.

"Just try to get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

"I've always thought so." She kept her eyes closed and the smile on her face, but it turned sad. "I'm not really that tired, am I?"

She was actually exhausted and she knew it. But she didn't want to give in easily; as usual, she was fighting everything.

"It's been a very long morning."

Clay assumed a very long morning to begin a very long week. There was going to be a memorial service, the star ceremony, and who knows what else. Through it all Annie was going to have to pretend Jai's death didn't bother her. It was going to be extremely difficult.

"If you need to take a nap, go right ahead. There won't be any judgement from me."

"I love you."

After that, she didn't say anything else, she just let the alcohol and pain killers do their job and she let herself fall asleep on her suit-clad husband. Even though she knew she was safe at home with someone who loved her back, it didn't stop the nightmares from coming.

Jai talking to her, watching him walk to the car, feeling the blast and the heat and everything else happening in very slow motion. Over and over again, it replayed in her mind until she finally woke up with a start.

Annie waking up so quickly surprised Webb, "Annie? You're home. Safe."

He turned off whatever afternoon television he was watching to pay attention to his wife.

"Mmkay. I know. I'm fine. I just..." She struggled to sit up, bumping him accidentally. "Sorry. I need a glass of water."

Managing to stand, now actually drunk, she moved herself into the kitchen and poured herself a glass from the sink.

Clay kept an eye on Annie as she made her way to the kitchen to get her glass of water, but didn't get up. He would if she needed his help, but right now giving her some space might be the best idea.

As he sat there he hoped this wouldn't change Annie's outlook on what they do. Even though what they do can't be revealed to the public, it's still important and still necessary despite the danger.

In the kitchen, she finished the first glass, then poured a second before moving to sit on a dining room chair. She did want to be alone, but not because she was feeling particularly ill. It was more because she was feeling melancholy.

Everything was her fault. If she hadn't left to meet Jai, maybe he wouldn't have gone and he'd be alive. Maybe something else would have saved him. All she could think about was the way they'd ended things and how much he'd still wanted to be her friend and how much he'd cared.

Putting her head down on the table, she closed her eyes.

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