freshoffthefarm | [Post Belarus] -- after 2.06

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[Post Belarus] -- after 2.06

Annie had told Danielle that she was exhausted, but that was so much of an understatement that it was ridiculous. After making sure that her older sister had put the good coffee on the menu, Annie hauled her suitcase off to the guesthouse with as much nonchalance as she could muster.

After she'd made sure that her classified paperwork was put away where it was supposed to be, she came very close to laying down on the window seat and falling asleep there. It took way too much effort than it should have to make it into the shower and actually scrub her body down.

There is nothing better than your own shower after an op like that, was the thought that she managed after, as she changed into the usual post-mission bedtime wear of Harvard t-shirt and shorts. When the knock came, she thought it was Danielle, reminding her about something else that had happened while she was gone.

Opening the door with a groan, she said, "This couldn't have waited until morn..." Her voice trailed off when she saw her visitor, "ing?"

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Clay had a day. to say the least. Between the drama with DPD, and his volunteering to negotiate on behalf of State to get Annie back, all he wanted to do was go out to Alexandria and go to bed. He tried to do just that, but couldn't get over the nagging feeling that he had to see her. He blamed her getting mixed up with gypsies.

That led to an hour of looking though his apartment, trying to find something that belonged to her before settling on a toothbrush. Then he got back in his car and headed out to Georgetown, armed with said toothbrush. If he saw her, he'd be able to sleep easier.

When Annie answered the door, dressed in his Harvard shirt, it took a lot not to just smile outright, "Hi....just dropping this off." He held out the toothbrush.

She was standing there uninjured. Everything was fine.

Edited 2011-07-13 05:31 (UTC)

Seeing him standing there, Annie thought for a moment that they'd gone back in time and he was there to greet her and take care of her after a bad op. The memories slammed into her at high-speed and she blinked at the toothbrush.

"Clay, that's your toothbrush." It was painfully obvious that he'd grabbed anything at all as an excuse and she felt kind of guilty for calling him on it as bluntly as she had. But seeing him there...

It dawned on her that she ought to be embarrassed that she'd been caught wearing his Harvard shirt, and she looked at him, invading her space like he was, and she took a deep breath. Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea-- "Do you, um-"

She stepped to the side and motioned to her room.

"Is it?" If he were honest with himself, he'd realize he didn't really look at the toothbrush.

Going inside was a terrible idea, but he found himself agreeing anyway and stepping inside.

"Yeah," she said, a wry smile on her face as she took the toothbrush from him as she shut the door. Since he'd brought it, she was going to keep it. No way was she going to let him get away with coming over for no reason at all.

Standing awkwardly in her room, she had to ask, "You were following the mission, weren't you?"

"Of course I was."

As if she had any doubt.

"I think I didn't worry too much until you got mixed up with gypsies, while lost in country. If this was a decade ago I'd have my nose broken."

She figured it was a throwback to that stupid Marine and her eyes narrowed slightly.

"Thankfully, I know how to get myself out of that kind of situation without having too much trouble." She couldn't help the self-satisfied, somewhat smug smile. "Even if it involves jumping off a cliff into a river."

She wondered if he'd read that far.

He read that far, he read the whole thing including the amount of time that DPD lost her.

"Yes, thankfully."

Though he was willing to do whatever it took to get her back, as was, apparently, Joan.

So close and yet so far, that familiar feeling of being comforted by his presence was almost tangible. She didn't want to kick him out, but she wanted to know what had possessed him to bring his toothbrush to her house at ten o'clock at night.

"Why did you really come?" Her voice was quiet, almost soft, and not at all accusatory.

To give you back your toothbrush, was what he wanted to say.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. See it for myself."

Not anywhere close to, To give you back your toothbrush.

"You've seen," she continued in that same quiet voice, then lifted her head to look at him, her gaze far too intense for a casual conversation. Her next comment should have included the words 'thanks for stopping by' or 'see ya', but she was standing too close to him for anything other than, "Are you staying?"

A far cry from 'see ya'.

"If you'd like me to." Clay matched her quiet tone.

He didn't know where the evening was going to go, and he certainly didn't plan on staying, when he brought over the toothbrush. But right now, the last thing he wanted to do was get back in his car, especially when Annie was looking at him like that.

It wasn't an answer, at least not a verbal one, but she stepped forward and slid her arms around his waist, her forehead going to his chest. She wanted the comfort, the stability, of his arms around her. She wanted to feel him hold her or express some kind of emotion toward her, rather than just let her lead the night, wherever it was going to go.

... and she had no idea where it was going to go.

Clay also didn't know how far she was going to let him go. He certainly had no right to be here, not after the way he treated her, but he still loved her. So he put his arms around her and hugged her close then kissed her forehead.

She needed the comfort, and he felt just as unsure as he had the night after the Alley.

The simple act of kissing her forehead sent a flutter through her and she took a deep, shuddering breath before hugging him tighter and burying her face in his neck. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to yell and scream and fight, but he was right there and being affectionate and she didn't want to scare him off.

It was the only thought that kept her tears in check.

Breathing him in was comforting enough for the moment, and then she lifted her head just enough to brush a soft kiss across his jaw.

It would be so easy to walk three feet to the bed and fall back into their after mission routine. For the moment at least, he planned on fighting that temptation, even with the kiss to his jaw.

"You're safe." He said it like everything was going to be just fine.

She nodded and then went back to hugging him, her head resting on his shoulder. He was over-dressed, she was under-dressed and she hadn't said if she wanted him to stay. She'd put out feelers, so to speak, on his intentions, and they seemed pure enough, which was enough to stop her from progressing her own.

"I just want to sleep through the night. One night," she confessed on a whisper.

"Okay."

He understood the implications of her confession, and hoped she understood the implications of his agreement. He'd stay the night, even though he was woefully under-prepared.

Like it was a nightly routine, she went to the closet to get a hanger for his clothing, then held up the toothbrush and set it on the counter in her bathroom before crawling up onto the bed and sliding her feet under the covers first. Then she got comfortable on her pillow and waited for him to get ready for bed, completely ignoring the voice in her head telling her just How Bad An Idea This Was.

Clay used the tooth brush Annie put in the bathroom, then took of his suit and hung it up. Thankfully, he wouldn't be too embarrassed in the morning. He kept an extra tie in his desk in case of a lunchtime accident.

He joined her in bed, dressed in his usual t-shirt and shorts, and wondered how he could have ever let this go.

It was almost embarrassing how easily Annie turned into him and wrapped herself against him, her arm around his waist, her body tucked up against his. One leg crossed his at the ankle, like it always had and she immediately felt herself relax from the inside out.

It would have been embarrassing if she'd given herself time to think about the way she'd responded to him automatically and without thought, but she wasn't thinking about that at all. All she could think about was how perfect they fit, just like they were right then.

Clay would never use this to embarrass her, and as it stood right now, they were just going to sleep together, and actually sleep. He planned to rationalize it in the morning by calling it a beneficial sleeping arrangement for both of them.

He was however, going to skip breakfast.

The steady beat of his heart had the same calming effect on her that it always had and she was asleep in less than two minutes. Her breathing evened out as her hold on his middle loosened and she sighed, nuzzling into him before she drifted off completely.

Her dreams were completely peaceful with no nightmares of the incident in Belarus. She slept almost the entire night through, waking up a half-hour before her alarm went off. When she saw who was in her bed, her hand inside his shirt, clutching the waistband of his shorts, she almost yanked back. Instead, she moved her head slightly and kissed just below his ear again.

She planned to rationalize it by saying old habits die hard.

Clay slept through the night too, better than he had any night two months previous. He had no one to blame but Annie.

Her kiss managed to wake him up, though he wasn't exactly awake, "Good morning."

If she talked, if she thought too much about it, she was going to stop what she was doing. It was the best night of sleep she'd had since they'd broken up and if his staying the night was a bad idea, then this one was catastrophic.

It didn't stop her from shushing him with another kiss, this one on his lips - all soft and gentle and full of the good morning promises that she didn't say.

Clay wanted to ask if she was sure, or if she knew what kind of ramifications this could have, or if she forgave him for being such an asshole, even the tiniest bit.

Instead, he returned her kiss, and put his arms around her.

Once again, his silent agreement was enough for her to take it a step further.

Shucking her tank top, she resumed the kiss with a much more passionate vibe as she shimmied out of her shorts, her hand curling into the front of his shirt. It suddenly didn't matter to her if it was a bad idea or not, her body was demanding some kind of release from him and it wasn't going anywhere without it.

And now, he was just going to keep his mouth shut and touch her everywhere. Annie needed this, and if he were honest with himself, he'd admit he did too.

He somehow managed to get his shorts off and if asked he wouldn't be able to say how exactly. His shirt was Annie's problem.

It wasn't until things had progressed past the actual undressing and were well underway that Annie remembered his shirt and then she stopped him and helped him take it off.

A low groan was pulled from her when she realized that he felt just as perfect now as he always had and she loved it.

I love you, she wanted to whisper, directly into his ear, her nails digging into the small of his back as she pulled him deeper. Instead, she dropped her mouth to just below his collarbone and suckled gently, just enough to leave a mark. Not one that would last more than a day, maybe a day and a half, but something that would still be there when he went home that night.

She just needed to be a part of him again, even though she knew that this wasn't the right thing to do. Even as she came, stifling her cries and biting her lip so she didn't call out his name, she held him tight and breathed deeply against his neck.

If it wasn't for his CIA training, Webb would have told Annie that he loved her, that what he did was stupid, and that he was eternally sorry.

He came soon after Annie, enjoying how close they were at that moment. The last thing he wanted to do was let her go, so he didn't for a while.

If she asked, he'd say she'd always be a part of him and not just because he has two night tables in his bedroom and her shoes in his closet.

Her alarm went off.

Like a judgmental piece of technology, the harsh sound startled her out of the perfect fairytale she found herself daydreaming in and her eyes flew open.

Wrong, wrong, SO wrong, came the immediate admonishments. Much like the morning after the alley, she felt embarrassed and the need to hurry and leave raced through her. However, she couldn't bring herself to be rude after that.

"I need to be in early today," she said, her voice husky. Clearing her throat, she pulled back and pushed her hair back. Untangling herself from him felt like such a loss, but she found his shirt on the bed and handed it to him. "Um, coffee--"

She pointed to the tiny two cup pot in the corner of the counter. "There."

Then she slipped out of bed, holding the Harvard shirt to her front as she walked to the bathroom, naturally giving him a very nice view of her backside.

"Okay." He said as he made sure to appreciate the view Annie gave him.

Clay put his shorts and shirt back on before figuring out her little coffee maker. He assumed they'd need to talk after this, about something.

But it wasn't a conversation he wanted to have before Annie had her coffee. Self preservation was important.

It wasn't until she came out in a khaki skirt and pale pink blouse and caught sight of him with her coffee maker that she realized that he hadn't gotten dressed and that meant that he wanted to talk.

She contemplated making an excuse to leave early, but he knew that she wouldn't have to be in quite so early after being back so soon after an op.

Clay wanted to talk, but he had no idea what to say. So for the time being, coffee would have to do, and he handed Annie her cup. After a few minutes of quiet sipping he decided to be the one to say something...anything.

"How's the coffee?"

Or as his brain put it, "I missed you."

"It's coffee," she said, a small smile tugging at her lips. She didn't want to give in to small talk over the coffee pot, mostly because she wasn't sure just how they were going to justify what they'd (she'd) done. "Could maybe use a little milk and sugar, but I'm not going to Danielle's. You probably shouldn't either."

"Yeah, I wasn't planning to." Self preservation.

Then after a few more minutes of silence he was just going to bring it up, "So...now what?"

She'd just finished her coffee and set the cup in her sink when he asked and it made her pause.

"We go to work?" She dried her hands on the towel on the counter and then leaned against it. "Unless you really want to talk about it." She paused, watching him. "Thank you for staying. The mission was really rough."

Clay did want to talk about it, but it seemed to him that Annie didn't, so he just nodded.

"I'm sorry."

There were so many things that could apply to and he hoped that she knew he'd be there for her anytime she needed him.

She could sense his hesitation and when he apologized, she said, "It wasn't your fault."

Whether she was talking about the mission or something else was really up for debate. Rather than let it linger for too long, she added, "You look like you wanted to actually say something about last night. Or this morning."

"I volunteered to be the undersecretary State was going to send to Belarus."

Then he took a deep breath. Fights between one's emotions and one's brain were always hard ones to fight.

"I" love you "Just want you to know that" I'm sorry for ending things like I did "if you ever need anything, I'll always be there for you."

"They would never have let you go." Her voice was quiet again as she thought about Clay being in country to rescue her.

She knew he wasn't saying what he wanted to say and it took a moment to swallow past the tightness in her throat before she nodded. "Thank you."

It was all she could think of to say, but her eyes never left his.

That went better than he expected, and he didn't look away from Annie either.

"You're welcome."

Annie waited a moment to see if he was going to say anything else and when he didn't right away, she stepped away from the counter and around him to get to her shoes.

"I really should get going."

"I really should get dressed."

Which he did while Annie put the finishing touches on her outfit.

Webb dressed in her house in the morning was almost as bad as Webb undressed in her house at night. All the same feelings as before came rushing back and she wanted to straighten his tie, help with his vest, brush her hands over the arms of his jacket and kiss him goodbye.

She settled for opening the door and silently motioning him to go first so she could lock up.

Clay couldn't leave it at just that, but instead of a kiss, he hugged her tightly, then left her guest house not exactly sure what to say.

The hug threw her for a loop and she wanted to pull him back inside and just pretend it was just another day, any other day for the two of them. She wanted to pretend it was Sunday and they could have breakfast and relax, cuddle on the couch and maybe throw a nap-that-wasn't-a-nap in there.

After gathering herself, she put on her sunglasses and followed him out to where his car was parked behind hers and paused again, this time even more awkwardly than at her door.

Unlocking her car door, she set her purse on the seat and then looked at him. Stepping close, she kissed the corner of his mouth -- more friendly than his cheek, but not intimate enough to be his mouth -- and then stepped back. "Thank you for checking on me," she said, pushing her hair back. "Um, have a good day."

"You too," he said with a slight smile before getting in his car. Clay was completely unsure what this whole night meant for them, other than neither of them wanted things to end even though he was the one who did it.

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[Post Belarus] -- after 2.06

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